Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
