Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
