i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You ruined the universe
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
