All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize