after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize