She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm both gender and math confused
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
