I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
