For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
