he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
