I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize