I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
sex in a hospital.. check
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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