Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize