Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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