return my video game
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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