I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
