Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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