sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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