I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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