Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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