I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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