I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
