they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
