It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
