I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
