I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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