do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
