Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
