I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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