I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
