And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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