So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He kissed a someone with a penis
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
