good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
