his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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