Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
