I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize