hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
