I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
