I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
