I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
