I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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