Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
