Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize