marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
