Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
