I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
