I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
