porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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