I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
