She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
