im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
