the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
