These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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