Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
