And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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