I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
