come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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