I forgot how hot balto sounded
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
