operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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