maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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