the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
