i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Small penises have feelings too.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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