Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
