dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
