Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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