Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I wear drunk well.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
