I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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