I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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