if you like me you must not know who I am
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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