If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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