Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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