is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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